The following is an ongoing series of reader guest articles by Doc Martyn from the Buriram Medical Club. His opinions are his own.
1.      I have owned several motorcycles over the past 50 years, including a Triumph Bonneville, a Honda Blackbird, 3 Kawasaki Ninja ZX12s, a Goldwing, and a Triumph Rocket 111. But my current bike, a Ducati XDiavelS, is my favorite; see photo 1.
2.      With its trellis frame, its low centre of gravity and its 24cm rear tyre the bike is a joy to ride. The 1262cc V twin engine has two power bands and produces huge torque which makes the bike both fast and furious.
3.      A couple of months ago, I rode the Ducati from Buriram to Pattaya, a 450km trip. Unfortunately, during the trip the rear guard, which carries the number plate, see photo 2, fell off and was lost, see photo 3.
4.      I returned to Buriram in my car, to order a replacement plate. The registration for the bike was due. The folk in the Buriram Department of Transport refused to order the plate until the Pattaya DOT checked the bike, it being 5 years old, and the registration was paid.
5.      The Pattaya DOT refused to check the bike and renew the registration. ‘No can do’. I had to return the bike to Buriram. I was troubled. The bike was not registered, nor roadworthy. I was reluctant to use transportation; a big bike like mine may not arrive! Then I recalled the adage; ‘When in Thailand do as the Thais do’. So I rode the bike back to Buriram.
6.      At the Buriram DOT, the 5-year check of the bike involved stenciling the frame number onto a length of painter’s edging tape, which was then stuck to my application form. There was no emissions check. And despite having no number plate, no indicators, no stop light, and no tyre guard, the bike sailed, or rode, through the test. I collected the bike’s updated registration.
7.      The application for a new number plate required the green book, and numerous forms to be signed. The reception then requested my passport and visa, which, unfortunately, I had left in Pattaya. I asked my partner to photograph my passport and visa and forward them on Line. Once downloaded and printed at the local coffee shop, I realized that the pictures were of my Australian passport, which I had not used since 2017. It contained only 3-holiday entry permits. My retirement visa was in my UK passport. I said nothing. All the forms were thoroughly inspected, stamped, and approved! I returned to Pattaya.
8.      In two days, I had ridden over 900 km at outrageous speeds, the return trip took just over 4 hours. During the trip, I passed through a police check and a police speed trap, without incident. Like 50% of Thai bikes, my Ducati has no rear indicators or brake light, nor a number plate; it is a thoroughbred Thai bike, that would be removed from the road in the West. But nobody seems to care because “TITâ€; This Is Thailand.
