Post-retirement rugby typology (a big word for the study of types)
What do rugby players do after retirement? What do they become? In Thailand, like the answer to most things, “up to you.” There is no path for the wayward, but here is a typology based on extensive lazy research.
Observations suggest that many retired professionals enter fields such as fitness instruction, motivational speaking and media, among others. But for those on the other end of the spectrum, retirement means a loud, life-altering change. What to do with the extra hours that were spent officially on training and game time?
Not to mention the post-training reviews at the local. The wife, partner or even children may pine for the relief that was “your rugby time”. You, propping up a bar or away on weekend tours, suddenly become desirable for those around you.
Rugby is an addiction. Once rugby has been pumped into your veins, even with arthritic pains, retirees cannot quit. Retirement may have been caused by a plethora of reasons, but once a rugby player, always an addict (even in denial sounds the same).
Here we sound off on four main types of amateur rugby retirees.
Type 1 – miserable old fart. These are guys who show up at every rugby game, are loyal supporters, but are miserable as hell. With a beer in hand, complaining. The classic phrases, “back in my day” or “when I was young”, echo in every second sentence. Retirement is usually due to age, and there are enough younger players around, so they are not needed on the pitch (or off, for that matter).
Type 2 – loud, obnoxious fellow at the games. He can tackle, pass, kick, run and ref at the same time for both teams and still deliver the winning kick. He is usually forced to retire due to some injury occurring in some game. Not that the clattering with a cast-iron pot by the missus had anything to do with the initial weakening. Officially, it was a bad tackle.
Type 3 – coach. The guy who is always willing to help out with the local teams, but has not updated his coaching badges (if he has any) since the amateur era of rugby. Nice to have around, but the club has to find a place for him, usually dealing with the delinquents. His retirement is usually due to his wife saying so because she is tired of the moaning and groaning after training. Or worse, the howls in caring for his knocks after a game.
Type 4 – the magician vanishes from the game. No explanation needed. Deep in denial and unable to face reality, this guy becomes an enigma even to his former teammates. Whatever happened to ……? Followed by the quizzical, who? Been there, done that, and now a mystery. Usually an expat, who stays at home with a beer and watches rugby and thinks – I used to do that, while the wife shouts, “Go and do it.”
Oh, before one of you rugby ladies decide I deserve a clout or high tackle (accidentally or otherwise), I focus on the male end of the game because I am a rugby simpleton! And, importantly, remember the great gender agreement – gentlemen behave smart and all-knowing, while ladies allow men this small pleasure because women are in charge. Delusion is vital to any good relationship.
Ah, the joys of rugby are many, but the evidence shows retirement happens. How this freedom is expressed can be classified in many ways. Anything more than four types would mean actual research. And that will get in the way of my game on the tele.
For compliment’s written by Mario
For complaints written by a keyboard player
For the amazing upcoming tournament which this guest article was inspired by and to learn more about the Chris Kays Memorial Cup in Pattaya (Free admission!) click or tap below.
